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Marv Fretstein
is an aspiring serial killer. Among his numerous influences are David
Berkowitz, the M.O.T .44 caliber killer, aka “Son of Sam, Ted
Bundy with his degree in psychology from the University of Washington,
Jeffrey Dahmer, the punk rocker who worked at the Ambrosia Chocolate
Factory and John Edward Robison, the “cyber sex killer.”
Mr. Fretstein calls himself the “Lamed Vavnik Killer.” His
intent is to seek out the thirty-six most righteous people of his
generation and murder them. Since May 1, 2009, Mr. Fretstein has killed
twenty-three people including Menachem Mendel Schneerson, (“The
Rebbe”) who, contrary to medical consensus, didn’t die of a
stroke but rather was poisoned. Excerpts from Mr. Fretstein’s
evolving manuscript, The Lamed Vavnik Killer, have been published in National Geographic, The National Inquirer, People Magazine, The Nation, Playboy and Better Homes & Gardens.
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Excerpt from The Lamed Vavnik Killer
As an entropic concept
of vile disproportion, the number 36 (their heads kept as trophies on
stakes in the cellar) is soaked in mustard gas. It is said that at all
end times (when the eschaton is named “Marv”) there are 36
blood-sucking sacks of scatological skin pods in the world, and that
were it not for them, all of them, if even one of them was missing, the
world would continue to tick in fumes of yellow-beige banality. The
humdrum. The quotidian. The tedium. The routine. The clichés.
The two Hebrew letters for 36 are the Lamed (gun shot, knife,
strangling, poisoning) which is 30, and the Vav (car bomb, arson,
kidnapping and torture, hit and run, bludgeoning) which is six.
Therefore, these 36, the Lamed-Vav-Tzadikim-Vampires of daily life are
being killed by a charming apprentice in order to tilt the planet off
its axis and annihilate six billion people.
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