The Bio of
Noah Rosenthal
Noah Rosenthal’s screenplay for Dummy Out of the Closet was nominated for an Oscar in 2007. As a teen taking bong hits in the Hollywood Hills, his loser buddies would joke that his giant Jew-fro resembled a cloud of Marijuana smoke. It should be noted that these same friends would fart into the bong before he took a hit in order to increase the potency of the weed. Most recently praised for his role as Tommy in Tommy and Louie (a drag kung-fu thriller spoof on Thelma and Louise), Noah’s life and unfortunate sudden death while wrestling an alligator clearly proves that the Jewish Schlemeil should limit his escapades to the inside of cinematic fantasy. Unbeknownst to himself and everyone else, he is survived by a lovely heroin addicted prostitute who carries his five-month-old fetus in her hazy lonely womb.

Shortly before his death, Noah began taking notes for a memoir. Here is a transcription of some scribbles found by his bedroom pillow.

So dude, this is how I got started in showbiz. For my Bar Mitzvah present, God turned my dick into a joint. The thing is that smoking it made me feel kind of queer so I decided to cut it off. No, I’m just kidding with you! What I did get for my Bar Mitzvah was that something special in my eyes. You know, that magic twinkle that other people see and know you have and they don’t, so they’ll pay tons of money just to watch you make stupid facial expressions on a large screen. Ahhhhh! I’m just messing with you again! What I really got for my Bar Mitzvah was the idea of saying Bar Mitzvah over and over again like this: BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH BAR MITZVAH. Funny, well so those were my early days.

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